My Mother told me there would be days like this....

But I wish I  could slide on by…

 

I know in every human relationship there will be bumps, grinds, and general annoyances. But lately there have been some things that worry me about my relationships.

 

I am noticing patterns in myself that I hate to admit to:

 

1.       I am selfish. I am. I want what I want when I want it, and who knows who will help who gets in my way.

2.     I have a temper. I can admit it, I haven’t worked on my temper, and I am easy to flare.

3.      I patched up the black box. Remember the old story about how God gave a girl two boxes, one gold and one black? The Gold was for the praises and the good things in her life, the Black for the bad. After awhile the Gold box was so heavy, but the black box was so light. Because God put a hole in the bottom of the box. I’ve been holding on to things.

4.     I have missed my faith. I’ve recently been discussing faith with my husband who lacks it. I used to have such a strong faith, and I didn’t survive the trials as well as I thought. I’m currently in the process of re-forging my faith. I don’t believe in Religion, but pure God-driven faith.

5.      I want to be the Queen of Sheba. What woman doesn’t? But honestly – Where is she now? For that matter, I just had to live in a society that doesn’t really deal with royalty. So I guess that dream should fall by the wayside?

 

So now, I begin my quest to really live this life I want, I guess everyone else will have to follow along? First step – finding that BIBLE! Where did DH put it?

 

I am so nesting now...

So do you ever wonder why we women and mothers have this irresistible urge to … nest?

 

I’m not talking your pregnancy nesting, either. I’m talking the taking a house and making it a home nesting. Today and yesterday, despite my fever, nausea, and just weakness… I was determined to do something yesterday that I felt was productive towards my own goal of a home I could feel proud of.

 

So I started the painting process for my kitchen. I’ve taken Tuesday and Wednesday off for the purpose of painting, but it dawned on me yesterday that if I waited until then, I wouldn’t be able to bake when the kiddos were in KC with daddy. Yep… that won’t do. So we’re going to do this TODAY.

 

I only got a little 5 foot wall done. But after it was dried I put everything back up with the command strips so no more holes! Except for my wire star, but that’s a different story. I am just enjoying the new color… it’s a soft minty green. Just right for a kitchen in my opinion. I’ll post pictures when I am finished. I’m just trying to do it in the little amount of time the weekend gives me. And then I get to have fun on Wednesday and enjoy my girlfriends. *squee* I’ve so never  felt so free for a bit.

 

I will note to my readers – YES I will miss my husband and my kids terribly. But I’ve spent almost 5 years now without any kind of break to myself, and I have to trust that they will take care of the kids (Tori, Ian, and Pops are going to KC to spend time with my IN-Laws). I have faith in them, but also in someone higher, God. I just have to have the faith that everything will be ok, and my kids and husband will return home with all limbs, digits and sanity intact.

 

 

 

As a Mom – do you ever wonder if you will discover that lost city of Atlantis beneath your couch? I’ve just cleaned under my couch (albeit – it’s been two weeks) and the things that were under there have taken over my entire living room floor! I’m sitting here wondering how two small children and one large child would fit all of this beneath a sectional? I mean really?!

 

I’ve also taken a break from the vinegar, just to see what other things accomplish. You know what I’ve learned? My ‘Bleach’ cleaner, doesn’t do nearly as through a job as the vinegar, and if I’m not super careful, will ruin my shirts and pants…. OMG. I’ve also noticed since we’ve taken a break, my ant population has INCREASED. I used to spray down the floor with Vinegar and clean that way, everything was vinegared. Apparently, it has some affect on insects, so double plus!

 

I’m just exhausted and we’re going to continue on this bombardment of my house. It may have won a battle or two – But I WILL win the war!

 

Megan

 

I am so diggin' this song...

**Clicking the above Blog title, will take you to a music video of the song I've been digging...**

'Tarzan Boy' by Baltimora... Totally works for 70 degree weather, windows down drive the slopping hills towards town to get my favorite lunch - Common Grounds' PB & J Panini Sandwich. I need more days like that.

I also went to church and the long and short of it - I'm seeing the point of the Fly lady. I can't force change on anyone, I can only show them the way and hope they see the point. So no more nagging. that is my new rule in the house, no nagging. Well.. at least at Tom.

We'll see how this goes... it's so totally an experiment.

Working on living...

It's amazing how you really do have to work at living. I suffer from depression and I somedays just want to crawl in a hole and pretend I have nothing to do with the rest of society. Right now, I'm working on cleaning my house. I have a dinner party tomorrow evening with some friends. I'm making my version of Perogies. I use a basic biscuit dough to make the crust and then potatoes, bacon bits, cheddar, and a lil' bit of onion and various spices. I'm also serving a salad and making a fluffy chocolate pie for dessert.

I'm a foodie, everyone who knows me, knows I LOVE to cook. You could buy kitchen gadgets for me, and I would be more excited than a kid at christmas. Along with that, Tom and I are working on our relationship and I'm going to start going to church. Yeay!